*To people who I am 99.9999% sure will never read this

1. No one cares how cute you and your boyfriend are together. I used to think it was adorable that you two had finally found each other, but when you start ignoring your best friends and completely usurping each other's identities to the point where you are no longer unique individuals, that's not cute. You seriously make me want to barf each time I see you together, even on Facebook.

2. That wasn't as awkward as it could have been. I'm glad. Life is too short to be angry over something like this.

3. I'm glad we started talking again. We were best friends before all of this stupid drama happened...and for that, I'm deeply sorry (even though you were equally at fault). Still, though, I don't regret any of it. I learned some valuable lessons and I'm sorry I had to hurt you in the process. Thanks for not hating me forever and I'm glad we can both move on and be happy.

4. After liking you for seven years, I've finally realized that our relationship will never be more than casual friendly acquaintances. It's okay though. You're a great person and I probably never would have made it through my sophomore year of high school without you. And you still make me smile just as much now as you did back then. :-)

5. I just realized that it has been six months since I talked to you, and that seems so strange since you used to be one of my best friends! Some of the best times of college involved talking to you for hours and hours and hours about any silly thing our minds could come up with! Miss you and sorry for losing touch! I'll call you one of these days, I promise!

6. You are so beautiful and so strong! Hang in there--life WILL get better some day!

7. I know you were an arrogant jerk back in the day, but I've forgiven you. Glad we're friends now :-)

8. You never were a mean person. People were mean to you when you were having a hard time in life and you got carried away and took it out on others. I'd say you turned out alright in the long run, though.

9. Please, please please please ask me out! Even if you don't want to date me, that's okay. I can live with that. But you intrigue me like no other and I know we have a lot in common. Just take the time to get to know me...I promise you it will be worth it!

10. It's been three years and I still think about you every day.

11. Umm, that was really mean. I tried to forgive you and move on, but being excluded still really hurts. I think we can be close again but it will take some time.

12. I'm sorry for misjudging you before I got to know you. Contrary to popular belief, I don't hate you and I hope you don't hate me. If there is anything I can do to make it up to you, please let me know!

13. GET A FREAKING JOB!!! You are so lazy and you are never going to get anywhere in life unless you find some way to make yourself stand out! I know you're smart and interesting, but no one else will unless you start doing something with yourself other than sitting around and whining about lost opportunities! Be proactive for once!

14. You have the ugliest, whiniest most annoying dog I have ever seen.

15. It's not the quantity of friends that is most important but the quality of friends.

Sooo, Christmas is coming up soon (YAY!), and so I eagerly busted out the music not too long ago. Among my new favorite albums are Ella Fitzgerald's "Ella Wishes You A Swingin' Christmas" (thanks Holly!) and Transsiberian Orchestra's "Christmas Eve And Other Stories." And on the Transsiberian Orchestra one, I found this extremely depressing but ultimately beautiful song. It made me cry a little:

ORNAMENT

There is an ornament
Lost inside the night
There on a Christmas tree
With a thousand lights

No one can see her
She's standing all alone

Somewhere she glistens where no one can see

I don't believe I can say what had happened
All of those words that we put into play
No longer matter, I should have known that then
I just know you're far away

On this Christmas day
On this Christmas day
On this Christmas ....

Somewhere the wind
Carves moments in the snow

And if he sees her
He never lets it show
He just drifts behind her
Erasing every step

Tinsel and garland are whispered
through trees

I don't believe I can say what
had happened
All of those words that we put
into play
No longer matter, I should have
known that then
I just know you're far away

On this Christmas day
On this Christmas day
On this Christmas ....

Come, Christmas
Stay, Christmas
Watch over her this day
Keep her
Protect her
From harm now in every way

Shelter her
Gently
There in your arms she'll be
Until the day
When you
Bring her back home to me

There is an ornament lost inside the night

-------

He leaves on Friday. Today is Monday going on Tuesday in 17 minutes. Probably forever. Maybe that's why it made me cry, because it speaks to my own situation. :-(

When I first heard of the popularity of the Twilight books, I figured that, as a hopeful young adult fiction writer, I have to read them. Marketing research, I suppose. But now, being almost done with New Moon (aka halfway through the series), I am being sucked in more and more.

Which is ironic for an overly analytical literary snob like me because in many ways, they are completely ridiculous books. The plot is over-the-top, the writing style melodramatic, and the characters flat. Bella is so passive and obsessed with Edward that it makes my inner feminist scream "DO SOMETHING WITH YOUR LIFE, girl! He's not good for you anyway, and sitting there being depressed when he leaves is a waste of time because HE'S NOT COMING BACK!" But then he does...which is probably not a good message to send to impressionable middle-graders.

Not that Edward is that great of a catch anyway. He's always come across to me as a bit creepy (and not just because he's a vampire)...even to the point where he seems abusive. He's hot, yes, but what is their relationship based on, anyway? They never do anything except cuddle, make out, talk about being a vampire, and mooning over each other. My friend Liz who seems to be an expert on vampire novels tells me that the weak heroine falling in lust with a powerful vampire despite an utter lack of personality is fairly typical, which I think makes me even more disappointed. Stephenie Meyer had the chance to turn this cliche around, but she didn't.

But yet, I am essentially in love with these crazy books anyway. Why? I don't know. Meyer does do a good job of creating tension in her plot, which I can admire since my own stories seem to revolve around awesome characters doing nothing but sitting around being awesome. In the Twilight books, things happen, creating suspense along the way. I also appreciate the themes, for however cliche being in love with the wrong person is, it never gets old because I think most people can relate in some way.

And, on a personal note, THEY GO TO ITALY! Awesome!

Aussie boy breaks into zoo, feeds animals to croc
news-world-australia-20081003-AS.Australia.Zoo.Carnage


SYDNEY, Australia — A 7-year-old boy broke into a popular Outback zoo, fed a string of animals to the resident crocodile and bashed several lizards to death with a rock, the zoo's director said Friday.

The 30-minute rampage, caught on the zoo's security camera, happened early Wednesday after the boy jumped a security fence at the Alice Springs Reptile Center in central Australia, said zoo director Rex Neindorf.

The child then went on a killing spree, bashing three lizards to death with a rock, including the zoo's beloved, 20-year-old goanna, which he then fed to "Terry," an 11-foot, 440-pound saltwater crocodile, said Neindorf.

The boy also fed several live animals to Terry by throwing them over the two fences surrounding the crocodile's enclosure, at one point climbing over the outer fence to get closer to the giant reptile.

In the footage, the boy's face remains largely blank, Neindorf said, adding: "It was like he was playing a game."

By the time he was done, 13 animals worth around $5,500 had been killed, including a turtle, bearded dragons and thorny devil lizards, Neindorf said. Although none were considered rare, some are difficult to replace, he said.

"We're horrified that anyone can do this and saddened by the age of the child," Neindorf said.

Alice Springs police said they are unable to press charges against the boy because of his age. Children under age 10 can't be charged with criminal offenses in the Northern Territory. His name was not released because of his age.

Neindorf said he plans to sue the boy's parents.

The boy's small size is probably the reason he didn't trip the zoo's security system, which relies on sensors to detect intruders, Neindorf said.

"I just want people to learn that they can't let their children go and run amok," Neindorf said. "If we can't put the blame onto the child, then someone has to accept the responsibility."
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Seriously, where are this kid's parents????? Shouldn't they know better than to let their seven-year old wander around a zoo by himself??? I think it's a little odd that no one noticed for 30 minutes, though. At the zoo I worked at over the summer, there were people all over the place--keepers, random security guards, visitors--and you think SOMEONE would have seen this little kid pulling animals out of the exhibits.

But R.I.P. animals... :-(

focus focus focus focus focus...you can do this...why can't I do schoolwork lately????? It's not that I don't have time, it's just that when I do have time, I end up staring blankly at the computer lost in a world of my own.

I suppose I could blame the all-pervasive senioritis (though if it's this bad three weeks into the year, that's quite a forbidding omen), or the long string of personal problems that are waging war against my happy September, but all I end up doing is blaming myself. B on that Senior Sem response paper? Really? True I wrote it in one hour the night of my grandfather's funeral, but seriously, I still can't be proud of it. I'm normally such a perfectionist...WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME????

All I want to do is escape...pack up my stuff and travel the world with a digital camera and a pen. That's what I want to do with my life. Screw grad school, screw career, screw social expections, screw practicality...but then I see myself being taken advantage of by some foreign creeper and wasting away on the polluted street far away from my family, so I feel like I really can't do anything but try and fit in to our society as best as I can.

Just someone tell me what to do next September, or at least tell me how to figure it out for myself. Please. My sanity would appreciate it.

wisdom teeth, vicodin, slow drivers in a no-passing zone, people who don't respond to their emails,long distance relationships, not being at school, people who say they are open minded but they aren't, postmodernism, whiny people, people who talk on their cell phones too much, racism, needles, raisins, friends who cancel plans at the last minute, making business phone calls, long commutes, being lonely, green beans, onions, the band Coldplay, most dogs, obnoxious kids, obnoxious people in general, the computer being slow, big crowds,pollution...


I love: The Olympics!

I miss: certain IWU people

I will miss: My internship

Recently a bunch of naked mole rats were born at the zoo where I am interning, and my job was to write a press release about how they are now on exhibit and visible...blah blah blah.

The hard part was coming up with a way to describe something that is sausage sized and shaped, pink, wrinkly, hairless, and lives in dark, wet, warm tunnels without it sounding sexual.

I think that was the hardest part of my internship so far.

On a semi-related tangent, my 21st is in a week from today! Yay! :-D

I lost my journals! Two of them. January 2007-the present. That is a year and a half of my life GONE just like that!!!!!!!!!!! Not to mention the fact that all of my thoughts and feelings go into those things. I don't let anyone read them, not even my family and closest friends. Anyone who knows me knows that to read one would be the worst possible thing you could do to me--it would be like emotional rape, or whatever other kind of ultimate betrayal of self you could come up with.

And my parents said "Oh, that's disappointing. You should have double-checked all your drawers before leaving."

Well, yes, maybe it is my fault, and I hate myself for it right now, but saying it's "disappointing" is like saying that surviving an atomic bomb attack is "unfortunate." Maybe that's a little too dramatic of an analogy, but THEY JUST DON'T UNDERSTAND!!!!

So tomorrow, I'm supposed to call ORL, who I really don't trust at all for anything, let alone handling my deepest darkest secrets and politely ask them to send them back. Unless, of course, the janitor already threw them away, or, even worse, took them home and read it.

It would be an interesting read, though. Honestly, life sometimes is stranger than fiction, especially mine right now.

But ohhhhhh crap oh crap oh crap oh crap!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I gave my novel a happily-ever-after ending.

So out of character for me. I love sweet love stories, but in real life, they very rarely work out in a happily-ever-after way, at least not for me, and at least not without some considerable mess involved, so reading about how people in books CONSTANTLY get all of their romantic dreams fulfilled just because they are characters in a book with a benevolent author kind of frustrates me. Maybe it's because it gives me false expectations in life...I don't know.

So in most of my stories, the love stories are always beautiful but tragically flawed, and that tragic flaw leads to the doom of the relationship, as well as a heartbroken but ultimately stronger character who will survive and go on without that special person in their life.

That's what I was going for in my latest novel (not to give anything away, but it's pretty hard to have a happily-ever-after when the protagonist's love object is DEAD), but, of course, when I was doing revisions, a new love object popped into the story out of nowhere. And, like the poor protagonist, I fell in love with him, so now he's here to stay. But it actually works because the protagonist is such a quixotic hopeless romantic that I can't really see her ending up any other way. I can justify it by making the rest of her life suck so much that he is the only good thing going for her.

No, I'm not a cynical person. Not at all. :-D

If not, we respect and belittle your stupidity.

So much for "academic freedom." So much for teaching a variety of perspectives in class and letting students form their own opinions based on careful analysis of all sides of the issue. So much for differentiating between "political propaganda" and "a liberal arts education." So much for being "open minded" to ALL viewpoints, not only the ones that you agree with.

*end rant*

Sooooo...May Term. Here's what's new with me:

-It's May Term and I can count the number of true friends who are still on campus on one hand. That means that I am getting very good at entertaining myself. Fortunately, I had the experience of being an only child for the formative first four years of live, so it's not too hard, but I really miss my friends!!!!!!!!!!!!!

-I would so much rather be in Europe like ten people I can think of right now...oh well, I got to go last year, and I really have no right at all to complain, but it would be SOOO much better than here right now.

-Relationships are complicated. If you need to know, you do know.

-I am involved in a love/hate relationship with my adolescent of a novel. One of my projects for May Term is to finish revising it (or at least finish this particular revision stage). I rewrote huge chunks of it, and the more I work on it, the more work I realize it needs. And I love it, I really do, but a part of me really just wants to be done with it so I can start a new one because I have an AWESOME idea that's been hanging out in my brain for months now! Is that normal?

-I miss my internship at the history museum. When I was doing it, I couldn't wait for it to be over, but now, I really really miss it. I almost cried at the volunteer reception, even though it was me and about a hundred geriatrics. But I feel like I learned a lot and did a good thing for the community at the same time. And I feel so much more connected to this town now because of it. I know the stories of the people streets are named after, and even though no one else cares, it seems like a sort of in-joke between the city planners and me. :-D

-I CAN'T WAIT FOR SUMMER! Becauuusseee...I HAVE THE MOST AWESOME INTERNSHIP EVER!!!!! I will be doing public relations for Brookfield Zoo and I am soooooo excited! I was the little kid who thought the zoo was the most exciting thing ever, and I still haven't quite outgrown that. At worst, it will be seven bad weeks redeemed by the presence of dolphins. At best, it could be the best experience of my life and perhaps give me a whole new direction at life.

Well, that's it for tonight. Tune in next time! :-D

10 days until the first part of the autobiography is due, and I still have no idea what to write about. I think the professor really wants it to be about this semester, but I have some fundamental philosophical problems with that:

1. The defining struggles of my life right now are just that, defining struggles. Therefore, they are still present in my life and the outcome, aka, the definition part of them has not been made clear yet. It's like what Professor Miller said back in AP Seminar, that the Law of Unintended Consequences makes it impossible to get an accurate, big-picture view of historical events until a significant amount of time has passed. Sometimes, this is years or even decades. I don't think I need decades to write this autobiography, seeing as I am only 20 years old, but at the same time, some things are just too close to the present to really be able to analyze and present in an intelligent way.

2. My journal and thoughts right now are PRIVATE! Maybe I just read too much Harriet the Spy as a kid, but it has always been one of my biggest paranoid fears that someone will read my journal. Not that I have any deep dark secrets that I'm trying to hide, but I use that as my personal space to vent, sometimes about people and situations that are very close to me, and I am afraid that it will be taken out of context. I know the teacher is the only person who will read it, but still...what if something happens??? These people and events are still close to me and often play significant parts in my life, and if they discovered it, the consequences could be devastating. Plus, if anyone is to read my journal, that is pretty much the number one way to make me never want to trust you again. And even if I fictionalize it or change some names and events, I really don't feel comfortable just handing it over to the teacher.

3. Certain defining struggles took place in this professor's class. Not this exact class, but a fiction writing class with the same teacher. Really interesting and pretty much essential to understanding me the way I am. It's since been resolved and I think I'm a better person because of it, but I would have to be really careful to find a way of presenting it without making the professor and certain classmates angry in my (truthful) portrayal of them.

4. Ok, so I could just take all that stuff out. And then what's left. Going to class and going my internship. Booooooring!

5. Structure: I am really excited about this project, but I really don't want it to just read like one of those second grade timelines. "I was born. And then I went to kindergarten. And then I went to Disney World. And then I won the spelling bee." But then at the same time, I don't really want it to bounce all over the place and make the chronology impossible to follow. An even bigger problem is how to pick and choose events that are meaningful, insightful, and interesting to write about. Right now, it could be epic. A big, long, epic mess of things thrown together with no real theme or sense of continuity. But I don't have time for that. I'm writing a novel and a history book and learning Latin and trying to apply for internships and reading all these other books for class and trying to micromanage my slowly disintegrating social life...yeah, it's a little insane. Sooo...I think I need to pick a theme or something and show how it's developed throughout my life.

Or maybe I just think about this waaaaaay too much! But if you have any insights, PLEASE let me know!

Maybe the reason I'm having so much trouble writing my autobiography is that even if I tell the truth, no one will believe it.

Also:

Ever since Meta last weekend, I've been going to bed at 12 instead of 1. It's amazing how much better I feel. I haven't felt the need to take a nap once this whole week and, as a result, I get more homework done and I'm not as tired during my morning Latin class...then again, the teacher probably thinks I'm a total space cadet because my natural stupidity just seems to manifest itself more at 9:00 a.m. Sum puellam stultam. Blah.

More about my old journals later. They're HILARIOUS!

Oh yeah, and happy V-Day! Enjoy the last minute of it! :-D

Feds: Kill Sea Lions to Protect Salmon
By JOSEPH B. FRAZIER, AP
1 day ago

PORTLAND, Ore. — A federal agency recommended killing about 30 sea lions a year at a Columbia River dam where the marine animals feast on salmon migrating upriver to spawn. By many estimates, the sea lions devour about 4 percent of spring runs. Fishermen and Columbia River tribes have urged action for years against the sea lions at Bonneville Dam.

The recommendation in the report released Thursday by NOAA Fisheries Service was short of what Oregon, Washington and Idaho had requested in 2006.

At least three of the upper Columbia River spring salmon runs that pass through the dam are listed as threatened under the Endangered Species Act, most significantly the spring chinook salmon run.

Sea lions are attracted to the dam east of Portland because of the large number of fish that gather there to pass through the "fish ladders" — or openings in the structure that allow fish to continue swimming upstream to spawning grounds.

Sea lions are protected under the Marine Mammal Protection Act, but are not considered threatened. An amendment to the 1972 law allows states to get permission to kill identifiable sea lions or seals that have "a significant negative impact" on at-risk salmon and steelhead. NOAA Fisheries can grant the states' requests under some conditions.

NOAA plans to take public testimony on four alternatives through Feb. 19 and make a decision in March. If the recommendation is implemented, a committee approved by NOAA would set standards for capturing or killing the sea lions.

The other alternatives were to take no action; to continue using such nonlethal weapons as rubber buckshot and large firecrackers, which has not been effective; or to kill all sea lions within about five miles of the dam, which could affect about 150 animals.

The last alternative is closer to what the states wanted. Opponents argue sea lions aren't the real problem, instead blaming predatory birds, deteriorating habitat and hydroelectric dams themselves.

Sharon Young, marine issues field director of the Humane Society of the United States, said it is not clear how the NOAA numbers are tied to impact on fish.

"There are a lot of very complex problems affecting the fish, and this will do little to help the fish," Young said. "It is not clear that this will do anything other than kill sea lions."

But leaders of the Columbia River Inter-Tribal Fish Commission said the recommendation is critically needed to protect salmon. The group's statement said some sea lions have "become adept at exploiting endangered salmon seeking to enter the fish ladder at Bonneville Dam."

A similar application was made in the 1990s when steelhead were being devoured by sea lions at Ballard Locks in Seattle.

Before an order to kill them went into effect, a public outcry resulted in a reprieve, and Sea World in Florida took three identified as troublemakers.

The sea lions had killed up to 65 percent of the winter steelhead at the locks linking Puget Sound with Union and Washington lakes, and the run has not fully recovered.

*shivers* I think I might have some kind of mild Seasonal Affective Disorder or something...I'm just not myself in the wintertime...

but anyway, new semester, new novel, new start. Which is really just what I needed at this point. I'm not going to give away too much about my novel, but I'm pretty excited! Influences: Pirates of the Caribbean, The Lightkeeper's Daughter, William Shakespeare, my childhood. My teacher and my group members all said they liked my pitch for it, so I'm happy! :-D

The problem: Teacher expects 15 pages a week! At first that wasn't so bad. I was just like "yaaaay novel!!!!!!!!!" But then I realized that it's pretty much like writing a giant research paper EVERY WEEK!!! It's still more fun than a giant research paper every week. It's gonna be busy though, considering I also have an internship and two other classes, including one where the project is...write your own autobiography! So basically I'm trying to write three books in one semester.

Is it nerdy that I'm excited about that?

Excited and kinda intimidated at the same time.

But oh well. My social life seems to be in a bit of a recession these days, so maybe that's better from an academic perspective. Guess we'll just see what happens...

And I finished reading The Perfect Man for STD. *reads how that sentence sounds. Wow...* What I mean is that STD requires that I read The Perfect Man. (which is a BOOK! And in case you didn't read the last entry, STD=Sigma Tau Delta=English Honor Society.) *gives up on trying to make it sound socially acceptable* Tee hee. I'm so mature.

But what I meant to say is that I really don't like the ending. I seem to be very cynical about romantic plots/subplots lately, probably because so many of them just aren't believeable. This case was even worse, though, because it was believable, but offered too much false hope. Yeah, that didn't make sense, but it does to me...and don't ask me to elaborate because I'm not going to.

Now I'm reading The Lightkeeper's Daughter, by Iain Lawrence. I've read it a few other times in junior high, but it's soooo good, even though it's kinda young adult-ish, and not particularly believable. But I think it might help me with my own novel in some ways, so I'm revisiting it.

Think I'll go do that now.

Salvete! (that's Latin for "goodbye y'all")

Well, I'm back now! Thank goodness-winter break couldn't come sooner! The Tudor-Stuart England final was the devil, like usual, but I think I did pretty well on Newswriting and Reporting and, surprisingly given the circumstances, Recent U.S. History. As for my Caribbean Voices paper...well, we'll see. Dr. Bray didn't really do the best job of responding to my inquiries about a meeting time, but oh well. I guess we'll just have to see what happens.

But IT'S SNOWING!!!!!!!!! YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!! It's so pretty outside! I feel like I live inside a snowglobe, especially since today I looked out the window and saw eight deer in my backyard. Guess Santa's checking up on me. Then again, maybe that's not a good thing because my sister and I were beating each other up right before that. I really wanna go play in the snow...sledding tomorrow, perhaps? :-D

OOooooh! And as soon as Kara gets back from Madrigals, we're going to decorate our Christmas tree! Apparently my parents started putting it up two weeks ago, but they never got the ornaments on because they didn't have time. Oh well, I'm not complaining! Now I get to help them! :-D But until then, I think I'm going to make myself a cup of tea and read my book for STD. Ironically, it's called "The Perfect Man." Nicole and I had the brilliant idea of going to the bookstore and asking the cashier if they have "The Perfect Man" just to see what they would say...heehee! :-P
We're just goofy like that!

So guess who doesn't want to study for finals! MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!! (and I'm quite confident I'm not the only one). Took the journalism midterm earlier and I'm not hoping for too much, but I'm pretty sure it was better than the last one. And I've been working on my Julia Alvarez paper for Caribbean Voices, which I was looking forward to because I absolutely LOVED In the Time of the Butterflies, but when I sat down to write my paper, I couldn't really think of an intelligent thesis, so I kinda just wrote down as many quotes as I possibly could and strung them together with bizarre tangents. At least it makes sense inside my mind...

But onto more interesting topics...

I FINISHED MY NOVEL!!!!!!!!!!! FINALLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I know I said that before, but what I meant was that I finished writing it. And now I'm done actually editing/formatting it and I am sooo proud of myself! I really want to give them out as Christmas gifts to my family, but I'm kinda scared to. I know that my family will love it and be all "awwwwww look how talented my daughter/sister is," but at the same time...will they really like it? Or even understand it? Not that I'm a surrealist or postmodernist or specialize in bizarre things that make no sense, but there are a lot of historical references that I did lots of research to uncover, and hopefully they won't throw the reader too off-track. I suppose I could add a glossary or something in the back to explain it, but it might take away from the story and make it too didactic. We'll see, we'll see. And ironically, I finished it on the same day I went to the first meeting for the 300-level "Writing the Literary Novel" seminar class I'm in next semester. The teacher seems a little New Age-y ("fiction comes from the dream-space inside of you...breathe deeply, close your eyes, and access it" type stuff), but I am soooo excited!

And otherwise, life is pretty good! It hasn't been snowing much yet, but the ground is pretty much covered in a layer of ice that makes it feel like the whole campus has been plasticized. I haven't slipped yet, either, which is pretty much amazing! And as soon as finals are done, I get to go home and celebrate Christmas! Yaaaay! My favorite time of year...I've been to soooo many Christmas parties this last week *tries to count them. Comes up with an ambiguous number between four and five.*

Oooooh, and I got the internship at the history museum! That will be exciting! I can't wait, although I'm a little nervous since I turned down three other good offers...hopefully I picked the right one! Otherwise, I've been keeping busy going to interviews, doing homework, and being the Daisy Buchanan to someone's Great Gatsby...(and at first I typed in "Daisy Duke" instead of "Daisy Buchanan"...WOW it's been a long time since 11th grade English!)

:-D

Newswriting and Reporting is eating my soul!

Only I really don't mind because I kind of like it. I would like it better if I didn't suck at it.

Ok, maybe "suck at it" is too strong of a phrase. I'm really not all THAT bad at it, but it just seems like no matter what I do, I screw something up...

And if you screw something up, you can offend people who really don't deserve it (as I almost did today-to someone in a certain social circle that I have pretty good reasons for not wanting to tick off)in addition to making yourself look bad.

But I like it. No matter what, I still kinda like this journalism thing.

It takes practice and I'm new at it...and the teacher says I'm improving, but I STILL keep getting Bs on EVERYTHING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Not that it's all that bad, but...I'm me. :-/

*ends incoherent rant*

As I discovered this past weekend at the wedding, and then today at Christy's 21st birthday party. Seriously, what do you do with yourself? You're still technically too young to partake in "twenty-something culture", but you're definitely not a teenager either, so hanging out with your parents is kinda awkward...well, fortunately, my parents are pretty cool, but...

Anywho, I GOT MY COMPUTER BACK!!!!!! Finally!

I hate to admit it, but it was kinda nice being freed from the bonds of technology. For once, I wasn't distracted by late-night AIM conversations (not that late night AIM conversations are always a bad thing), and it actually took considerable effort to check FBook (as I now affectionately call it! That meant that I could focus more on my novel!!! Yay! If I'm going to finish it before Christmas, I really need to spend more time editing it!

But in the meantime, Newswriting and Reporting is pretty much eating my life. I'm trying to get as many Argus articles done before applying for internships while simultaneously tracking down that elusive "A". As of now, I've gotten a C, a heck of a lot of Bs, and a tantalizingly-close A minus!

And yet, that's not good enough for me. Because when it comes to writing, I'm just a perfectionist like that. Period.

And I kinda like it. Maybe it's Stockholm syndrome...I dunno. But the more I enslave myself (if it's possible to enslave yourself by your own free will), the more I fall in love with it.

OOOOOH! AND I GOT INTO STD!!!!!!!!

no, I do not HAVE an STD. I'm not that kinda girl. If you know me at all, you would know that. But I apparently meet the criteria to join Sigma Tau Delta. All jokes about their unfortuate acronym aside (still, you'd think a bunch of English majors would know better than that...), I am pretty darn excited! Maybe there is hope for me after all...

but let's not count our chickens before they hatch... :-D

So I'm pretty sure I want to be a writer when I grow up.

That said, most writers tend to be addicted to something. Let's see...I think smoking is really really disgusting (plus, I've witnessed first-hand the ultimate worst-case scenario of lung cancer...it had a profound effect on my formative teen years), and I'm not really into the bar/alcohol scene (though I did experiment with white wines in Europe and found some of them to be quite enjoyable...then again, most writers can't afford white wine and go for the cheaper, harder stuff-bleck!)

So tea it is. That's what keeps me up and incredibly hyper until the wee hours of the morning and really, really annoys (or amuses) my friends...

Plus, I'm >25% English (half of my dad's side plus an unknown percentage on my mom's side). That could also explain it.

This post has no point, but oh well. Congratulations if you have read that far.

Ok, I have a headache. I'm going to bed now.

"So you have an obscure academic obsession, and so do all your friends. Only they have no idea what you're talking about, so you all just babble on and on about your bizarre obsessions and kind of nod to each other to be polite.

Then, you become a professor and suddenly, not only is EVERYONE as nerdy as you are, but you are all nerds in the SAME AREA, so when you babble on and on, they understand exactly what you're saying!

Now this goes on for THIRTY YEARS and then one day, you decide to invite younger people over.

Younger people who have more mainstream interests, like DDR or dancing or music...

And so you're talking about your obscure academic obsession and they're thinking "I wish I was playing DDR" and it's just awkward..."

I paraphrase a little, but not much.

Basically Sarah is made of awesome! :-D